Impotency in marriage: Causes and the way out

By Damilola Akinmolayan

There is a popular saying in Yoruba that “Omo lere igbeyawo” which is like saying that the fruit of the womb is the spice of marriage.

No wonder, immediately a man and a woman get married, people begin to anticipate a pregnancy that will lead to the birth of a baby.

A good knowledge of biology shows that for pregnancy to occur, there must be sexual intercourse. During the sexual intercourse, sperm is transferred from the man to the body of the woman, where fertilisation takes place.

That is when pregnancy can occur.
Unfortunately, some men battle with what is known as low sperm count.

The Hope interviewed some women concerning their views on the topic. Wife discovered after marriage that husband is impotent, what would you do.?

In her contribution, Miss. Ruth Nnonyelu said, “As a woman, if you discover after marriage that your husband is impotent, that means he lied and he is not being truthful while dating, because if he actually was, he would not have hidden such vital information from the wife.”

Moreover, “One of the things that might probably happen would be loss of trust, because who knows how many things he is hiding? Maybe as a woman I was not careful enough to ensure that this thing was checked. I am not saying checked in the aspect of sleeping with him before getting married to discover that is impotent. As a Christian, you might not want to engage in fornication to find out whether or not his impotent. There are other ways. You could go for checkup, go for blood test or other widal test. I believe the medical line has ways of checking whether the man is fit. Now that we are married, there is nothing to do other than to look for solution to bring him back to normal, because you already married and divorce can never be the way forward. I do not want to add to the high rate of divorce in the country.”

She said, “The rate of divorce these days is much, unlike in the olden days when couples were made to understand that there were ups and downs in marriage and one must be prepared to pay the sacrifices of a lasting home.”

She further said “impotence can be treated medically. Move on with him, forgive him and look for solution to help him out of the situation, because marriage is for better for worse.”

Sharing a similar sentiment, Miss Oluwole Precious said “As a married woman, if I discover after marriage that my husband is impotent, the next thing is the way to look for solution to get him out of the situation.

Precious said, “If I should say I want to divorce him, the stigma will be on me. I will rather keep it as a secret and if there is anything we can do medically, we will go for it or probably adopt kids, because there’s nothing new under the sun. Though it is a big problem, I will accept and see it as my cross.”

In the submission of a civil servant, Sarah Adetunji , “Well, humanly speaking, I’ll be so mad, because I didn’t know before we got married. But still, he might not know too. So, I need to calm my nerves and we will both look for a way out. I will try my best not to allow it affect our joy, with the help of God. We’ll pray then we get medical help.

Meanwhile, a medical doctor, Mrs Ibidunni Adebayo, shared “Low sperm count means that the fluid (semen) you ejaculate during an orgasm contains fewer sperm than normal. Low sperm count is also called oligospermia. A complete absence of sperm is called azoospermia.

Your sperm count is considered lower than normal if you have fewer than 15 million sperm per milliliter of semen. If you are having this kind of problem, you may not be able to get your woman pregnant on time. The main sign and symptom of low sperm count is the inability to get woman pregnant to conceive a child. At times, you may experience low sex drive or pain, swelling or a lump in the testicle area.

A diagnosis of male infertility can be one of the hardest challenges a man can face. For some, it can be devastating. After all, the necessity of reproduction is one of the few things on which both Darwin and the Bible agree. Not being able to father a child can make men feel like they are failing at one of their most primal responsibilities. 

Women are not advised to leave their husbands alone in the situation, because this infertility problem can be treated medically and naturally. 

Ways men can fight low sperm count includes: Avoid smoking, limit or abstain from alcohol, maintain a healthy weight, avoid heat, and drug use.

Source: The Hope Newspaper 

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